Dear Mother:

Uncle Harry is a dope. I know you will say that I should not speak this way of my elders, and I remember how you got Dad to cut my allowance in half when well, there is no need of mentioning that incident, but I think you will agree on Uncle Harry, for you always said he was a little queer.

Yet maybe I should not kick about the old fool's nasty moods and his awful preaching, for he has shown me most of the university, and though he did not take me to a movie, he took me to a very odd lecture. The man who was lecturing did not seem to make much sense, but the students scribbled in note books apparently taking down everything he said. I asked Uncle Harry why they wanted to take so many notes, and he said he did not know, especially the notes of this professor, who, he said, did nothing but wallow about his dais year after year and say the same thing. Uncle Harry then roared as if he had said something funny, and the lecturer stopped talking for a minute and coughed. Uncle Harry then said thank God when he heard some bells ringing, and we left.

He then took me down to a place called the Lampoon building, telling me that he had been a member of it in the good old days. They must have been different, for the fellows there were shouting about who should paint John red if they did paint him, and Uncle Harry said the old spirit popped out occasionally, but I said I was bored and wanted something to eat, so we went down some stairs in the same building to the Lampoon Cafe which is quite a place. Uncle Harry finally seemed to realize that I had been fed up upstairs, and he said that the other publications did not compare, so he hustled me off before I could, finish my doughnut. Across the street he took me upstairs in a building and knocked on a door. A janitor told Uncle Harry that they were all sleeping. "Do you see?" said Uncle Harry. "That's the Advocate." Then he took me up the street and told me we were going into the CRIMSON, an old rival. "We've got to scoop them," was all I could hear, and the presses were not running, nor were they anything like you see in the movies. "That's the CRIMSON," said Uncle Harry as though he had won a battle, but I told him that I did not care about any of them and wanted to see the chemical laboratories.

Uncle Harry just let me have a look at Mallinckrodt, which is a huge building for making gases, and I told Uncle Harry that I thought so, but he said they also make peach, and orange and lemon flavoring from little molecules. Then he made me come back to his rooms and pack, but I have so much time that I am writing this letter and wish I could have gone into the chemical laboratory. Love,   Osear.

TODAY

9 O'Clock

"Modern French Poetry," Professor Morize, Sever 30.

"The Turks in Europe," Professor Langer, Sever 19.

2 O'Clock

"Italy in the Eighteenth Century," Professor La Piana, Sever 24.

TOMORROW

10 O'Clock

"The Franco-Prussian War," Professor Fay, Harvard 3.

12 O'Clock

"Joseph Chamberiain," Professor Emerson, Harvard 1.