MIKE McGloin had the idea football was a pansy game, until he saw a Yale-Army battle. Then he perceived opportunities for muscling in, and it took a lot of persuasion to show him the impossibility of getting a cut from the Chancellor of New York University. The result was that he set up his own university, Carnasie, hired a coach, and proceeded to weld old wrestlers and pugs into an eleven. For, according to the coach, "opening, a university ain't much different to opening a speakeasy."

The lineup for their first game (against Alfred) saw Tossilitis, Oolaafsen, Baliban, and Hazos on the field. From then on the team won consistently; opposing players, unfortunately, were constantly having their hips dislocated. But the crowds came, and the profits were enormous. Puce and green were their colors and they were effectively displayed in the stands by chorines and thugs who were christened undergraduates for the occasion.

All went well until the game with Lake Shore in Chicago. There it was discovered that they were playing the Capone outfit. Perhaps you can guess the conclusion. It puts the finishing touches to the best rip-roaring yarn for many years. But read it for yourself.