Yes, it's boring to be storing

Futile facts within one's head;

To keep straining, to keep paining,

While the Cambridge rains are raining,

While the Cambridge drains are draining

Till the turgid Charles is fed.

Yes, it's hell to be a senior

Now that that can only mean your

Wasting hour after hour nose to book.

No wonder people take to drugs

Or better tonics clad in mugs.

For, surely chronic boredom one can't brook.

L'Envoi

Yes, this huddled education for a ration

Is a nation where elation

Now means Texas Guinan's fate,

Makes one reason almost treason;

But perhaps it is the season--

So let's end this tripe and telephone a date. --Emerson Longfellow Sever.

M. Sever is the one Harvard undergraduate who did not go to see the orchidaceous Greta Garbo in "Flesh and the Devil", because of the rumor that the film would be censored after the police department had had a chance to feast its eyes on the square-head's curves. Robert Sherwood said it was a good thing that the smooth Swede was married to John Gilbert before the scenes were shot. It was really rather a Puritan precaution, we hear, but it may serve to raise their divorcing average.

Mr. Sever instead showed himself a true and thrifty son of his college by supporting "a Cambridge institution". With Appleby Hollishemer he utilized the ticket allowing him to be bored free of charge at the cave of the riots. He got his nothing's worth, for he was not even thrilled by the giant tapestry representing George Washington on parade, --right in front of Radcliffe, the old flirt! Emerson Sever noticed that there were no idle Harvard students looking on.

Even in 1776 they must have been indifferent, or perhaps they were at prayers, or crewding into afternoon tea at President and Mrs. Langdon's, or even throwing eggs at the Hessian military police in the hopes of starting a massacre. At any rate the artist of the University Theatre did not see any students near the elm. The picture of Mr. Washington was the best thing of the evening's boredom.

Not being intelligent enough to take a line of his own. Mr. Sever takes after orthodox so-called intelligentsia in hating the radio, elk's teeth, white socks, camels, and above all, what passes in the middle-class moving picture for humour. Cinema humour is atavistic; it goes back to the primeval source--cruelty. And it gets results. While Emerson and Appleby with growing displeasure watched a pitiful creature fall down stairs and get hit over the head and make grimaces, a lady (term used by courtesy) next them was overcome with paroxysms of joy. Tears made little canyons down her cheeks and spots on Mr. Hollisheimer's cuff. Finally she was reduced to a jellylike mass, from which issued increasingly faint gurgles as a gun went off in someone's face, or a man got run over by a trolley car. Mr. Hollisheimer gently closed her eyes, and she breathed more easily. Mr. Sever thinks he made a mistake. She should have been allowed to laugh herself to death.

Judge makes Arthur jailbird

At forty years of age.

Thus lending lacking leader

To the Post's pale page.

Students sit in stolid stupor

In a Cambridge cage

For moving moron minions

Into righteous rage.

AMERICANUM

"Prof. C.P. Welmer, instructor in pharmacy at Columbia University, said that in this country in the last year more than 4,000,000 persons had their hair died. He denied that the use of cosmetics was vanity, and said that such use contributed to the highest civilization. He said Rome was at the height of her civilization when she used cosmetics more than we do today, and that in the dark ages cosmetics were little used." --Boston Herald.

thus disproving the contentions of Julian the Apostate. Friedrich Nietzsche, St. Augustine, and Roger B. Merriman.