With a blush toward an English Gentleman

The Dean asked the

Tutor and the Tutor asked the Sophomore,

"However did it happen that you flunked that French exam?"

The Sophomore said, "I dunno,

What made you think that I would know?

I guess the upshot of it was

I didn't give a darn."

The Tutor said, "Tut-tut!" and went to University. "Speaking of that Izzy Dumm, who flunked his French exam.

It's really quite extraordinary,

I can't understand it,

But he says-oh, such a wicked thing!--

He didn't give a darn."

The Dean said, "My, my!

And looked at his record-book;

The Dean sneered, "Ha ha!"

And filled out a card.

He sent it to the

Sophomore, "If that's the way he feels about it,

He'll corrupt the children's morals, and he can't stay in, our Yard."

The Sophomore said,

"Dash-dash!"

And took a glass of water,

And went to see the Dean about the reason for the jam.

"Nobody," said the Dean, looking up from the funny page. "Nobody," he said, as he filled his pipe with something,

"Nobody," be said, "could call me a Tussy man,

BUT

You're not the only person who at times don't give a darn!"

Insisted upon by Congress Ballade of Unknown Ladles.

Across from us in the subway train.

Flitting by at the Charity Ball,

Glimpsed in a wooded New England lane

Modish misses at Carnegie Hall,

Cantering past us on the Mall,

In theatre lobby and city street,

Figures that charm and allure and enthrall,--

The girls wenever can hope to meet!

T'other day, in that drizzling rain,

One passed by us, winsome and small;

Just to look at her gave us pain;

Wishing only she'd slip and fall,--

Wishing only we had the gall,--

Haply she'd hark to our plaintive bleat!

But somehow their presences always appall

The girls we never can hope to meet

This is the plight of the modern swain;

Worshipful, gallant, yet timid withal

Urge and impulse must he restrain--

A cop is there within ready call!

Chew our pipestem, and sit and stail, Watelling them, pretty and ohic and sweet,

Short and nifty, or trim and tall,

The girls we never can hope to meet!

LENVOI

Princesses, low at your feet we'd fall, (Our friends all tell us we're too discreet)

Instead we offer this song to all

The girls we never can hope to meet!

A terrible thing has just happened. There is an unsuspected nail in this chair. And just now, as we want to get up. We do break out like this now and then. Now we shall go home, with an end in view, as you might say.