Sonnet to a Sorehead to Hollis Randolph Thayer-Smith

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What yapping rhymes are these that first saw light

On All Fools Day in all their foolish cant?

Whose but a student's discontented rant.

Such whining sophistry and censure trite?

Their type of nihilism's always glad

Authorities to slander and abuse.

While in some specious language they confuse

The bad and good, since all to them is bad.

Oh drivel-lines that biteless bark, and choose

A safe incognito to take a fling.

Above your howls the voice of truth will sing

Triumphant o'er a prostituted muse.

Oh Freedom of the Press so great in fame.

What crimes are thus committed in they name!

Daily Novelette: Wild Donkeys

Charles Holyoke, youngest son of a pre-colonial Massachusetts family, was in his third year as a dropped freshman at Harvard. English A had begun to lose its fascination for him; the dining halls had made him a chronic dyspeptic; in short, life was dull. It was at this time that romance came into his life with young Betty Buxom. From the very first kiss they loved each other passionately. Then followed midnight swimming parties at Revere, so gay, so free, so So. One night, however, when they were frolicking about like water babies, Charles discovered to his great grief and joy, by an authentic mole under the left shoulder-blade, that beautiful Betty was his long-lost grandmother.

The Revised Harvardowockcy

"Twas Mayo and the maynadier

Did chase and seymour in the ford,

All gulick were the schlesingers

And the lowell cabot lord.

"Beware the merriman, my son,

From chaffee, babbitt thoughts refrain,

Beware the osterhout, and shun

The channing Mcllwain."

He look his edgell blade in hand.

Long time the shapley foe he sought;

So parkered he by the bacon rand

And frankfurtered in thought

While lowes in merky thought he stood.

The merriman of bierwirth fame

Came walzing through the murray woods

And kittredged as it came

One, two! one, two! and through and through

The edgell blade went snicker-snack;

He poped it dead, and with its head

He raiched copelanding back.

"And hast thou slain the merriman?

Come to my arms, my bailey boy!

Oh, perry day! Oh mereier!"

He pounded in his joy.

"Twas Mayo, and the maynadier

Did chase and seymour in the ford.

All gulick were the schlesingers,

And the lowell cabot lord.

Plunk Goes a Penny!

Now that Harvard has fallen heir to the slot machines in New York subways, the University ought tothem over to the Business School to administer. This will give the boys laboratory practice in the mismanagement of big affairs Incipient captains of industry who can make two sticks of gum grow where one grew before will be awarded their degrees "summa cum Wrigley." Then, too, the following little poem sung to any old tune that fits, can serve as the HBS national anthem.

Put a penny in the slot

For the HBS,

It'll mean a mighty lot

To the HBS.

Little sticks of chewing gum

Make the wheels of business hum.

So lots line up at the slot.

It's the finest thing we've got

At the dear old HBS