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THE CRIME

"Small habits well pursued betimes May reach the dignity of crimes."

This New Freedom

Restrained fling of a classicist:

Done with long and sleepless nights, Through with books and notes and cramming,

Done with fears and sudden frights, Through with sighs and sobs and damning.

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All these things I leave behind

Now Mid-years are off my mind,

And in days of care-free leisure

Redevote myself to pleasure.

Deans may threaten, rant and pray,

I'm a free man--until May!

Unrestrained outburst of a romanticist:

Hence, loathed Midnight Study.

Of foul Neglect and black Probation born,

In student's room forlorn,

Mongst beastly books and sighs and curses bloody!

But, come, thou goddess fair and free,

By men called Gay Festivity.

Haste thee, Joy, and bring with thee

Good Scotch Bootleg for a spree;

And damsels fair: the lusty jades

Shall breed forgetfulness of grades.

"Pitcher Harry Mullowney, ex-Eagle becomes' Oriole",--Boston Globe headline. A Darwin-Burbank Production!

There has been a leak somewhere. The dreadful secret of what really happened when the Law School gathered to cheer Dean Pound is now emblazoned on the pages of "Time", Encouraged, or maybe goaded; by this exposure, a law student suggests that the following advertisement be run in the next issue of the Harvard Law Review:

WANTED Experienced cheer leader to teach the Law School how many Harvards belong on a "regular" cheer, and exactly when to stop the "Rahs". At the mass meeting at Langdell Hall several days ago there was considerable difference of opinion on these minor points.

The Yale News is campaigning for the abolition of compulsory chapel. It is also understood that in the Fiji Islands they are still combatting cannibalism.

Playful note in the Announcement of Courses of Instruction: "Philosophy 27, Spinoza, the last of the Mediaevals. A study of the Ethica ordine geometrico demonstrata in the light of a hypothetically constructed Ethica more scholastico rabbinoque demonstrata."

Fascinating! And then what?

"Crime is rampant", say the priests. And why?

"The teaching of these profs." The beasts!

That's why!

Professors don't deny the charge Of crime,

If teaching thinking is so large A crime.

To the Crime:

I've been reading Briggs. Not our own, you know, the funny one. I wonder could you tell me what a professor thinks about Inky Fingers

Inky dear, don't you know that what a professor thinks about ought not to be published? If you must know here is an expurgated version of what runs through a professor's mind at the first meeting of a course.

"These are the saddest loking dummesehullen I ever looked down on What on earth made all these blank faces flock to my course? Last year's crop was a fine, studious crowd. Appreciative too: they knew a good joke when they heard one. They laughed every time I told it. But this bunch! Well, I'll have to get through the hour somehow. Then back to Boccaccio. Think I'll read over those passages in Rabelais again. Nothing like those fine old writers to make the fire of youth surge once more through these old veins. Hm-m time to start! Think I'll try them on the joke. (Aloud) Gentlemen, there will be no thesis in this course."

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