On Saturday it will be the pleasure of the Crime to laugh with and at our Yale guests and to make them feel at home by laughing at ourselves. We even offer them the opportunity to make themselves at home by laughing at us. In order to facilitate and concentrate the general amusement, the Crime takes pride in announcing its appearance on Saturday morning, and solicits contributions from the college and even from the Lampoon.

Measures of Sagacity at Yale

There was a young man from New Haven,

Who tired of keeping clean Shaven,

So he let his beard grow

Till it reached to his toe,

Now he's hailed as the sage of New Haven.

THE CRIME'S OWN PRIMER

The Dancing Man

That Fellow who dances as if his life depended on it is a Dancing Man. No you are quite Wrong; his life does Not depend on it. Only his Supper Bills would suffer, if he were never to dance Another Step. As matters now stand, I suppose that only the Daughters will suffer. Their Mothers think he dances Divinely and won't hear a Word against him. He is the Only man on the floor who can Waltz.

Jerry's

Right down these steps and turn to the left. Yes, that's the Same Jerry's you've heard so Much about. B. & M.? Oh, that's Boston and Maine. What does it Mean? Oh, it's a sort of Sandwich with a little Jelly and Peanut Butter and Cheese and Honey and a Fried Egg on it. Do with it? Why they Eat it of course. No, they're Not crazy; they're just Harvard men, who like to be Different as Well as Indifferent.

The Fur Coat

Do you see the Coat that fellow is wearing. No, it is not His Own. What does that matter? It might as well be. It is his Roommate's. There are Nine of them, All Told, who room together. His roommate the one who Bought the fur coat, I mean, felt he Had to have it to Keep Up with Everyone Else. Now it is All he can Do to keep up with the Coat. He didn't Mind buying that Car to live up to the coat, but it does seem a shame that he can never get Coat and Car Together.

The Tie

See the Striped Tie on that fellow. Don't look Now. He Knows we are talking about him. He Always knows when people are talking about him. That tie Means something. All ties like that Mean something. No, I do Not know what that Means. But it shows he has Won something, or been Elected to something, or Something like that A man with a tie like that is always a Marked Man. The only man More Marked, so far as I know, is a man with a Noose about his neck.

The Birds and Beasts Were There

News rote from the headlines of the estimable Boston Evening American "Wellesley's Dormitories Like Jungle--Wild Animals of Many Kinds are to be Seen There."

Paging Six Dinner Guests

If the Lampoon should ever succeed in its campaign against the attendance of Freshmen at Boston debutantes' parties there is no knowing the ends to which hostesses may be reduced. Even though the Lampoon should fail, which is quite incredible, the hostesses seem to be drifting into difficulties. It is expected that the time is near at hand when they may institute a paging system. Then we may expect to hear in the halls of Westmorley, Claverly, and Randolph and in the lounges of clubs, pages shouting as they make the rounds. "Two sober young gentlemen for a dinner at the Somerset." "Four assorted blonds and brunettes for a coming out party at the Copley." And in the Freshman Halls. "Fourteen well-recommended boys. The Brattles to uplift the boys, the boys to educate our daughters."