Nov. 18. I have not been at all well lately. I think it is the food in this fetid place. Then too, among the herd of carnivora, whose only thought is on their stomachs, one has no desire to eat. Here the prize steers, the ones selected for the athletic contests, they take to the training tables to fatten. The rest have to fight for scraps anywhere on the outskirts of the campus. I am so finely adjusted that the balance must be easily disturbed, I think, one way or another. At any rate, when I went today to the drug store for my usual luncheon of a banana and a marshmallow, I felt my gorge rise. However, knowing the importance of a regular, calculated diet I finally downed it.

Nov. 19. A plan came to me a day or so ago which I have successfully put into effect to illustrate the utter depravity of the average undergraduate's morals. Two days ago I sent in a notice to the daily bulletin here, the university newspaper (controlled, as everything is at Harvard, in the interest of the great capitalistic trusts). I wrote:

"Text Book taken from Sever Hall yesterday between 10 and 1. Abductor identified. Nothing further said if returned to Box X, Harvard CRIMSON, by noon tomorrow."

Today I went to the newspaper office and found not one, but twenty books waiting for me. They ranged from Moulton's Astronomy to the Complete Poems of Alexander Pope.

What more eloquent evidence could be desired of the complete abandonment of the college to criminality of every sort! And the authorities do nothing. Only the intelligentsia, the men with intellect enough to make others work for them during an examination, are punished. Thought is stifled here.

I took the books to one of the second-hand places,--after another had made me a trivial offer beneath consideration,--and sold them for four dollars and sixty cents.

IF WE MAY SO SAY

Talk about erudite Boston's careful phraseology, "prepayment cars", "leave by the nearer door", and such; how is this from a Newark, New Jersey, sign post?--"VEHICULAR TRAFFIC EXCLUDED FROM THIS DRIVE." --COL. BYGAD.

The political upset in-England causes many a staunch Conservative to wonder dubiously whether the apple which taught Newton the law of gravity could have been a Baldwin.

The thing is quite possible; if as was brought out in one of the Divisional orals, "Caviar is the general to whom Shakespeare refers."

CLASSIFICATION

Oh, some are the hairy athletes.

And some are the social plums.

And some are delicate aesthetes.

And some are,--summa cums.

Then rumbling cheers for the athlete.

And a jibe at all social scum.

Applause for the scholar and aesthete.

For the rest of us,--let summer come!   --R. SIMULANT.