Proteus. Was this the idol that you worship so?

Valentine. Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?

Proteus. No; but she is an earthly paragon.

Evidently these two young and spirited gentlemen were devoted to a form of idol worship, but the tribute which they laid at the altar of love is nothing compared to the tributes which present followers of the sport lay before all manner of altars, including that of the Knock-out Punch, Good Looks, the Dome-run Swat, and of multifarious others. For years Valentine's idle heroine worship has been the only religion of a young "louyere and a lusty bachelor", but now the "irrepresible vitality of youth" does not let him rest content until he has gone far afield in search of new Molochs. And the blushing maiden, too, is not satisfied until she has set on a pedestal an idol, at which she may gaze with fond adoration. A Farrar, who made the flappers shriek with grief as she bade them adieu from the stage of the Metropolitan Opera House, or a passionate twentieth century Valentine, who makes his audience stare with awe as he wrecks the lives of tearful cinema ladies, may easily become, the objects of feminine idolatry.

But these are not enough; the demand is increasing and to satisfy it the populace must choose their idols. One palladium of morality recently elected as the greatest man of all time our friend and counsellor, Thomas Edison. Of greater Harvard interest are his runners-up; Roosevelt, Shakespeare, and Longfellow. After them in the order named, come the others of the first ten: King Alfred, Tennyson, Hoover, Dickens, Lloyd George, and Andrew D. Volstead. A notable collection truly! But where are Lincoln, Washington, Napoleon, Harding, and a few others? No matter, all deficiences are made up by the two Harvard men.

Instead of electing a greatest woman of all time, however, the people usually seek the most beautiful woman in America. Recently the papers were filled with pictures of rural belles from Utah, Timbuctoo, and Chicago; then all these lovely damsels convened at Atlantic City, where that epicure of feminine beauty, Mr. Florenz Ziegfeld selected from them Miss America,--now on her way to Hollywood.

This week France chose Mile. Henriette Saget as the most virtuous of all French women, but America will not be outdone in originality. At a great convention of canary birds in Chicago, the world's best warbler was elected. In the hope of finding a prize winner, the U. S. S. Pittsburgh made a trip to the canary islands, but the Marines found only dogs, so 'Baby Grand" won the prize.