The CRIMSON baseball team will administer its annual drubbing to the Lampoon aggregation of ball-muffers, on the Freshman Diamond, this afternoon, at 4 o'clock sharp. This bunch of pseudo-literary bunco-steerers, whose motto is "millions from advertisements, but not one line of humor," have profited in their business to such a degree that they were able to offer Hans Wagner a fabulous sum to play for them. Although he refused, being unwilling to associate with such an unscrupulous body, these wielders of the shears and paste-pot will undoubtedly pull of some equally delicate bit of delicious humor to maintain their dubious reputation. It is rumored that F. Beets Boodle, notorious in sporting circles, and a former Philadelphia star, will attempt to fill the gap between second and third base, while the unearned increment will be devoted to pumping the water out of the new cyclone cellar in front of Randolph.
The CRIMSON team is unusually fast being particularly strong in batting, and clever in executing the "squeeze play," and hugging the bags. Trainer Donovan has declared the men in the pink of condition.
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PREPARATORY SCHOOL ALUMNI DAY
