To the Editor of the Record:

DEAR CHAPPIE: - Things are awful dull around here since our anniversary; nothing is going on, except, now and then, a class German, or a club supper. Our president is about to take a short vacation, and it is rumored around among the chaps that he is going to travel with Mr. John L. Sullivan for the purpose of learning to box, as he is going to meet Dr. McCosh with soft gloves in the spring.

Our Freshman crew, some time ago, sent a challenge to the Smith College girls for a 100-yards dash, straightaway, on the Charles River, and in the challenge they promised to keep the river open for the race with a muddre???ge; but, dontcherknow, those girls had the cheek to answer that, as they were the challenged party, they had a right to name their own water, and they named the Mill pond back of their college as the proper place as they were not allowed to row outside of their own grounds without a chaperone.

The freshmen were justly indignant at this answer, and at an indignation meeting of the class some rashly shook their umbrellas in the air and denounced the girls as mean things.

The table fare at Memorial Hall is getting worse and worse every day.

The meat croquettes (vulgarly called by some hash), are of an inferior qualiand the milk is growing thinner and thinner. One of the chaps got off quite a joke on it the other day. He said that the cow that gave that milk must have been suffering with the disease known as water on the brain. He was immediately carried from the table on the shoulders of the crowd and also received the election as humorous editor of the Lampoon.

The chaps are grumbling greatly now because the faculty have forbidden any student to appear at morning recitations in "full dress" and also have established as rules of dress the following: "Students shall be obliged, under penalty of suspension, to observe as their order of dress, 'cutaways' to morning recitations; 'frocks' in the afternoon, and 'full dress' to evening lectures."

The plan of voluntary chapel is working finely; on some mornings nearly twenty chaps will be there, and on others the number will be raised to twenty-five, but these are all freshman, and it is thought that, by Easter, the chapel will be closed to await the arrival of the next freshman class.

But I must close here as I am going to attend a progressive bean-bag party to-night, and I must go into training for it this afternoon. So, ta-ta,

CLARENCE KIKK