WHAT wouldst, my boy,

Gay "old boy"?

"Teach thee now,

Show thee how

Two and two

Make just eight?"

I do not like to teach the trick

Of double-sight, and yet - wouldst learn?

The lesson's easy, too, "on tick,"

And then the pay's so nice to earn,

I cannot tell thee "No."

So come, and stand beside me here.

No, nearer: now the trick's begun,

Just put one hand - why dost thou fear? -

Beneath that cup: the trick's half done,

The whole thou soon shalt see.

Bend nearer now, and dost thou feel,

Fast poured from out the gen'rous bowl,

The cup's "Old Bourbon" through thee steal?

Still more! Can those sips thy soul

De - Thou reelest back! Then -

There! Tell, my boy,

Tight "old boy,"

Have I now

Taught thee how

Two and two

Make just eight?