But the ones who noticed said they could not have asked for a better setting. The scattered buildings of the century-old hospital sit atop a wooded hill, and its prep-school-like appearance is in marked contrast to the dingy institutional air of Massachusetts Mental Health, the other Harvard-staffed hospital where some students go. At McLean, new patients go through a month of "work-up" -sessions with a doctor in which the patient's case is reconstructed in minute detail. After that, a therapist is carefully selected and the patient sees him several times a week.

Several students interviewed said they were not as disturbed as most of the patients at McLean, and all but one of them stayed there less than a year. Arriving at the hospital was a shock for some. "I couldn't believe that I was actually in a mental institution," one boy said. "It was as if you had been slumming and suddenly found yourself living in a tenement."

These students were reserved and withdrawn for the first few weeks. "I was almost ashamed to talk to anyone there," the same boy said. "It would have been an admission that I was one of them." "I was too wrapped up in myself, too full of self pity to realize that there were other people around," another said.

Psychotherapy was intimidating, "First you discover that throughout your whole life you had been in one process of getting sick," one of the girls said. "Every move you made and every feeling you had had helped make you what you were now-unacceptable to the world." Another Cliffie described her therapy as "a steel claw tearing open my scabs.... During each session my hands shook and I could taste snot in my mouth." For some there was an irritating sense of disconnection, a feeling that while their parts were being microscopically examined, they were wasting their present lives and shortchanging their futures. "Once someone gave me a CRIMSON," one boy said, "and I was panic-stricken at the thought of all the time I was losing, and all the things I was missing."

The greatest frustration was the nagging uncertainty about when they would leave. "It would be even more anxiety-inducing for the doctors to tell you when you were expected to leave," one student said, "since that would become an obsession, but the fact that they left it hanging in the air made you pretty angry sometimes." Otherwise, there were no criticisms of McLean as an institution, with one exception. The student who spent the most time in hospitals and whose mind made the most harrowing trips complained that he was "vegetablized" by tranquilizers. But his experiences elsewhere suggest that his objections with McLean were primarily reflections of his state of mind at the time.

Some time after he left McLean, he said, he once more became unable to cope with Harvard and was sent at his request- "Because I knew I could leave it anytime I wanted" -to Boston State Hospital, an institution in which extremely disturbed and chronic patients are kept in custody. "I was put in a bedroom with 16 other men," he said, "screaming and urinating all over the place. I stayed in the hall and told the black attendant spook stories..." He became more and more excited and finally was put in the "box," an empty room "with cement all over, small windows with bars and an iron door. I was told to take off all my clothes... it was cold. I was not allowed to have water. I was given one blanket. There was nothing to urinate in. I screamed all night..." He left after a week and went to another hospital.

His was the extreme case. For the rest of the students interviewed, the stay in the hospital was a slow journey into the recesses of the mind. Some of them felt a massive relief on entering McLean. "Before I got to the hospital." one said. "I was constantly confronted with the accusation that I was losing my mind. The people around me could not understand actions that seemed perfectly rational to me. They wanted me to be like them, but I couldn't. I was split in two by an insoluble conflict, and I became suspicious of everyone. I always had to conceal myself. When I came to McLean, I found people who accepted everything and who were trying to help me. The attacks [of hysterical laughter] I had been having went away."

These students made friends with other patients and participated in the hospital's social life. They became part of the community that Erving Goffman describes in his book Asylums. One student still tells anecdotes about the people he met. Another said. "You could have great times there. People sat around reading I Never Promised You a Rose Garden and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. There were some great tall-tale tellers."

BUT THERE WAS one reservation. Students said that the patients never talked about each other's problems, no matter how close their friendships. "It was not that it was an unwritten law," one boy said. "You just didn't. It was irrelevant. It was the given." People could ask each other about what hospitals they had been in, or how long, but not why. "It would have destroyed a basic trust," another student said. "It would have taken away the acceptance that people need to pull themselves together."

Despite this one barrier, the same girl said, bonds do form between patients and among groups of patients,

and this phenomenon can aggravate a terrific problem in mental institutions-getting patients who have recuperated enough to be able to manage on the outside to leave the community where they feel secure and important. For Harvard students, however, there is usually a less stark contrast between a threatening outside world and a homelike hospital than that many patients face. As one boy explained, "Harvard students want to leave the hospital because they have a solid social structure to return to. In my case," he went on, "I was initially given to understand that I would stay about a year. But I left within three months. There were people I loved in Cambridge, and getting back to them was a tremendous incentive for me to get well."

All the students interviewed made it back in a relatively short time-but time enough for therapy, freedom from normal social pressures, experiments in behavior, and a lot of thinking to prepare them for dealing with other people's realities. For most the process of coming back was a series of forays into the world. One girl went to classes while spending nights at McLean. Another student worked for awhile before returning to Harvard.

Some said that the final return was the most difficult experience of their lives, "There I had been," one recounted, "having my past mistakes hashed over and analyzed and tinkered with and scrutinized. My present progress was reviewed and supervised and picked apart and weighted with tremendous significance. One extra conversation in a day, one extra act or participation, everything I did was seen by my doctor as progression or regression. The psychology of all my actions took pre-eminence over any moral value that could be imputed to them.

"So when I came back to Harvard, I was so unused to having people judge my actions objectively, according to their efficiency or morality, that I found it very hard to relate to people. I had forgotten that people found it strange when I made carbon copies of my class notes or dropped a girl I was taking out because she was beginning to care too much about me."

Re-assimilation into student life was a sticky process. One boy said his greatest problem was the time lapse. "Things that happened five months ago for my friends happened yesterday for me. I came back and my roommates were into things I knew nothing about.... I felt humiliated by never knowing what anyone was talking about." He felt threatened by the same feelings of isolation that had originally driven him to the hospital.