{shortcode-4d16d142c8766b8e1bbf6bd687593e68f827f1c1}The countdown to the end of the semester has been flying by — lol, get it? — but for HUPD, it’s definitely felt like an eternity given all of our shenanigans. Even though we are all (technically) supposed to be in the library, studying away from dawn to dusk (and dawn again), campus is still bustling with activity, and we’re here to share it all with you.

4.24.25 - Western Avenue, Allston

“Officer took a report of a stolen package containing baby formula valued at $60.00.”

To be honest, I originally thought, “Wow, who would need this much baby formula?” but honestly, in this economy, this is probably just enough formula to sustain one baby. Not even one really large baby. Just a normally sized one.

4.24.25 - Winthrop House, Gore Hall

“Officer took a report of a drone being operated in the area.”

Housing Day videos are over, Winthrop; you missed our chance. Sorry, not sorry about our ranking, we don’t care what The Johnnies said about your lyrics. Get your drones out of the sky, unless it's to get started on your redemption for next year.

4.25.25 - Tercentenary Theatre

“Officers dispatched a report of individuals filming in the area. Officers arrived, located the individuals, and reported they were allowed to remain in the area.”

Again! First the drone, and now filming scenes in the Yard? Winthrop HoCo, you are not slick. We expect big things from next year’s video.

4.26.25 - Plympton Street

“Officer dispatched to a report of an unattended thermos in the area. Officer arrived and the thermos was deemed safe and all was in order.”

Phew! Good thing that someone’s soup (or chili, or pasta, or meatballs, or any other assortment of dhall leftovers — thermoses are actually surprisingly versatile) was deemed to be safe! HUPD should investigate the buffalo chicken soup’s safety next, though, because that one just doesn’t sit right with us.

4.27.25 - Holyoke Place

“Officers dispatched to a report of a loud party in the building. Officers arrived and reported that the party was over.”

So sad. We should’ve known not to trust a Harvard party to be hype for more than five minutes.

4.28.25 - Matthews Hall

“Officers dispatched to a report of an individual pulling on secured doors to the building. Officers arrived, located the individual, and sent them on their way.”

Sorry, how are we supposed to tell whether a door is push or pull without repeated testing? Other than the clearly posted signage… Anyway, this was purely out of scientific curiosity; we’d never want to spend time in Matthews anyway.

4.28.25 - Western Avenue, Allston

“Officers dispatched to a report of a noise complaint. Officers arrived and reported that the noise was at a reasonable level.”

One man’s “reasonable” is another man’s “torture” before their last exam of the semester. At least HUPD supports our social lives.

4.30.25 - Smith Campus Center

“Officers dispatched to a report of an individual previously sleeping and refusing to leave the building. Officers arrived, located the individual, and sent them on their way.”

Have we not learned yet that this is a stay awake space? Honestly, though, we get this one. Lofi beats, air conditioning, and the lack of give from the Smith couches is enough to knock us out as well. Gotta get some shuteye before the nightly reading period festivities somehow!

5.1.25 - Mather House, Tower

“Officers dispatched to a report of a noise complaint. Officers arrived and reported that the area was quiet.”

Yeah, personally we believe the officers on this one. Even if there were a darty in the tower, we’re pretty sure all that concrete would keep the music from resonating.

5.1.25 - Massachusetts Hall

“Officer dispatched to a report of an individual setting up filming equipment without authorization outside of the building. Officer arrived, located the individual, and sent

them on their way.”

Seriously? Again, looks like Winthrop HoCo’s filming some Johnnies bait.