The quick and dirty about what's been going on around the Ancient Eight.

In 2004, Cornell started storing 212 units of horse semen in a cryogenic tank for Fox Run Farm LLC (do we even want to know how much is in a “unit?”). According to The Cornell Daily Sun, however, it turns out the tank was actually defective, and after nine years of litigation, Cornell now owes the horse's owner $212,000. Do the math: One equine ejaculation is worth $1,000.

Meanwhile over in Providence, Brown students have caused a stir by protesting (shocker) R. Kelly’s visit—of course, the R. stands for Ray, as in Raymond W. Kelly HKS '84, the current police commissioner for New York City. On October 29, students protested the comissioner's involvement with the Big Apple’s controversial stop and frisk policy, the Brown Daily Herald reported, by shouting over the commissioner as he attempted to make a speech, effectively ending the event. In response, Brown University president Christina H. Paxson formed a review committee which is now being called the “Committee on the Events of October 29th.” Could that be any more foreboding?

In other Brown news, the Brown Daily Herald asked about masturbation habits in their recent student poll (in case you were wondering, a fifth of Brown students don’t masturbate at all). How’s The Crimson’s freshman survey looking now?

And down at University of Pennsylvania, emails allegedly sent over the listservs of a few "underground" fraternities were leaked recently on Penn's Under the Button blog.

Some highlights:

1. A picture of a receipt for 174 bottles of vodka

2. Advice on how to engage with women: “Agreed that biggest issue is girls. need more girl swag, gotta get the bitches to anchor down in our new chill pad”

3. Encouragement to disparage others: “If you have to make up scandolus [sic] rumors do it. I suggest going with something believable like oz [another underground fraternity] had a hep c outbreak last year”

It's happened at Dartmouth, it's happened at Harvard: When will people understand privacy controls?