Besides an influx of inclusivity, gender equality, and margarita orders at Felipe’s, the (almost/not quite/nobody really knows) moratorium on final club parties has come alongside a pretty tragic casualty.
No longer can you walk down Mt. Auburn Street on almost any weekend night and line up for hours at a time in mini skirts or salmon shorts, desperately awaiting entrance to one of those bike rooms from “The Social Network.”
But fear not, line enthusiasts and connoisseurs alike: There are plenty of lesser known places, open dawn until dusk, where you can watch people line up, or, if you’re feeling adventurous, queue up yourself.
After all, who cares about the popular waiting spots? No one goes there anymore—they’re too crowded. From the well-known lines to the mysteriously hidden hotspots of campus, FM has you covered with all the (un)necessary waits you could possibly desire.
For the Frivolous Freshman:
If you want to embrace your claustrophilia and are new to lines at Harvard, this should get your feet wet. Just head down to Annenberg around when Ec10 gets out and find yourself immersed in a sea of hungry freshmen.
For the “Dedicated” Gym-Goer:
It has been well established by the two authors of this piece (whose combined bench weight is now upwards of 105 pounds) that Hemenway has a nicer weight room than the MAC. But if, like us, you’d rather wait in line to pump iron than actually pump it, check out the bench press in the basement of the MAC. It’s one of the few places on campus where people actually hate getting to the front of the line.
For the People who Tried Shrooms Once to Become Closer to Nature, and Are Still Trying to Get Out to Joshua Tree for the Weekend:
Try Clover for lunch, the only place in the Square that tells you the exact temperature (in degrees Fahrenheit) of their water, and serves “zucchini sandwiches” without any further description.
For the Unsatiated Partier:
Are you bored on a Friday or Saturday night? Do you want to go out, without having to hear someone wax poetic about “CS50” or “concentrations?” Are you a freshman guy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then go wait in line for a Charlie Card and head out to BU or BC. We've heard rumors that there are still parties out there; they just might be worth checking out.
For that Guy on His Last Pair of Socks:
You waited until the end, the bitter end. It’s Sunday night, and you’re debating between doing your laundry and just skipping class tomorrow. You finally decide to rally to the laundry room, only to find everyone else has made the same mistake you have. Suck it up and get in line, or call it quits while you’re still ahead: Mankiw isn’t planning on showing up for class either.
