Archaeology

I dig you. Show me your hidden secrets.

Psychology

I’ve been classically conditioned to look forward to “Psychology of Close Relationships” because I know I’ll see you there. I start drooling more than Pavlov’s dogs when the class starts. I hope you’ve seen the sly glances I’ve thrown your way in “Nonverbal Communication”. In my dreams, I see us together, and you’re always smoking a huge cigar. I think I love you, mom. Ma’am! I meant to say ma’am!

English

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee from the Quad, down to Mather,Hope we meet there to work up a lather.Seeing you always sets my heart ablaze,Even the thought of you warms these winter days.Lotion on you I would like to slather,Or lots of Nutella, if you’d rather.Life without you, love, flies by in a haze.You are more delicious than midnight Noch’s,And plans to woo you I constantly hatch.I spend the time practicing my best jokesIn hopes that with laughter I will soon catchYou, though I may resort to Facebook pokes.I love thee more than last year’s Datamatch.

Computer Sciences

I’m happy every time I sit down to code, because U and I are together on the keyboard. Oh 0xBABE, your beautiful 0xFACE and you in my 0xBED, means my love for you != 0xFADE.

Physics

We have so much potential, let’s turn it into kinetic energy and calculate the coefficient of friction between our bodies.

Human Evolutionary Biology

You are an amazing specimen. Sexual selection has been working well for you, I can tell. As soon as I got a whiff of you, I knew your MHC complex must be just my opposite, and you know how opposites attract. Your facial symmetry, luscious hair, and waist-to-hip ratio have Darwin turning in his grave. And judging by the sweetness of your voice, I know you’re at a good place in your cycle. Be mine tonight?

Economics

I’ve got the supply, you’ve got the demand. Let’s make a favorable exchange.

Freshman

Hey, I’m a Harvard man, and I’d like to concentrate on you. I think. I’m still exploring my options, to be honest. But you seem pretty cool for now.