By our powers combined, this weekend brought some adulterous lip-locking for certain members of a crew of Harvard athletes. Most attendees of Gilbert’s Saturday throwdown––a truly epic gathering, to be sure––found it particularly difficult to step around the pools of drunken vomit. Likewise, a certain birthday boy found it near impossible to tolerate all the Pudding served at his celebration, and was forced instead to toss his cookies.
Some sad students thought their Saturday most successfully spent pining pathetically (and piss-drunk) after long-lost loves. Here’s a hint: it was “Once Upon A Time in Mexico.” Try elsewhere. FM wishes to remind you that shitshow weekends make it highly unlikely that your eye infection is “just because you left your contacts in.” Oh and BTWs, poppers apparently don’t do jack shit, says one Fox-y Friday night reveller...FUGETABOUTIT!
