Most Holy Father,
I write to thank you for allowing the Irish bishops to move the feast of St. Patrick to March 15. March 17, as you know, falls on Holy Monday this year. Obviously, it would be a tragedy if the most cherished holiday of the Irish—first among all the nations of Christendom—were cancelled. St. Patrick did the Church a great service by bringing the Irish—the stalwart Irish, the high-minded Irish, the brave, the creative, the swarthy and attractive and fine-smelling Irish—into the fold.
Some bars and places of drinkery, Your Holiness, have pledged to go ahead and have their St. Paddy’s Day festivities on March 17. Such perfidy is to be expected from the charlatans who have turned the holiday into a non-stop swill fest, festooned with four-leaf clovers and cheap American beer died green. The most hearty admirers of the saint will thus be able to celebrate on the 15th (with three-leaf shamrocks and Irish beer died no particular color at all).
So once again, I thank Your Holiness for moving St. Patrick’s Day. It’s difficult to be this favored, but we will try to handle the attention with our customary modesty.
Prostrate at the feet of Your Holiness, I have the honor to profess myself, with the most profound respect, Your Holiness’s most humble servant,
M. Aidan Kelly
