If you ever wondered why your rapper-wannabe friend has a striped tan on his face, you obviously haven’t heard of shutter shades.
Shutter Shades, a brand of sunglasses inspired by Kanye West and marketed since 2007, harken back to the bright colors of the 80s. As the name suggests, they feature strips of plastic rather than lenses and have revolutionized celebrity-inspired stupidity.
It’s unclear what is most offensive about this troubling trend: the fact that they serve no function (they neither block UV rays nor allow effective vision) or that you have to jump continuously to see the loser next to you at a party.
If Darwin were evaluating fashion, he would certainly argue that anyone stupid enough to wear shutter shades, a “trendy” version of beer goggles, deserves to be naturally selected to be hit by a bus—one that he couldn’t even see coming.
