1) Your professor is bipolar, and his manic phase ended after shopping week. Permanently.
2) Midterms are in a week, and Amazon has yet to ship your books (and/or you have yet to order them).
3) You have yet to find your classroom in Lowell. You go every day, fail to find it, and end up just eating lunch at the dining hall instead.
4) The Magic of Numbers actually involves math.
5) Every person in your class does all of their work, fights for front row seats in lecture, and answers every single question in section with a reference to a particularly enlightening footnote. (Read: everyone in the class is a freshman).
6) Every person in your class is way smarter than you, does none of the readings but can still discuss them better than you, and glares at you every time you bring up a particularly enlightening footnote. (Read: everyone in class is an upperclassmen).
7) You realize only insomniacs and masochists are up at 9:00 in the morning.
8) The CUE guide is a dirty, dirty liar.
9) Your language teacher has realized you have a very broad definition of “native speaker.”
10) You seduced your TF.
11) You failed to seduce your TF.
12) You’ve accepted that hitchhiking is NOT an appropriate means of transportation to get you from the Medical School to CGIS in seven minutes.
13) There were more red marks than black type on the first response paper you got back.
14) You can draw a picture of the exact location and design of your classroom’s clock.
15) You think it’s more likely that Palin will have a stormy affair with Obama, get pregnant, and name the child Al Gore before deciding to abort it, than that you will pass this class.
