Year: 2008
House: Cabot
Concentration: Women in Business
Hometown: Belmont, Mass.
Ideal Date: Chloroform, a shovel, and a bag of fertilizer
Best way for a guy/girl to get your attention: I’d say plastic surgery, but I don’t want to sound like an asshole.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: Alone, in the fetal position, and crying in a corner of my room, a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Moosetracks clutched in my aching hands while listening to Cher’s “Song for the Lonely” (on repeat).
First thing you notice about a guy/girl: Are you 18? No? OK, then could I get you to sign this?
Your best pick-up line: Hi! I’m Silas.
Best or worst lie you’ve ever told: I never laid a hand on your daughter, sir.
Something you’ve always wanted to tell someone: Remember that time I told you I never touched your daughter? Well, I didn’t. I had sex with your wife.
Favorite childhood toy: Maggie Sullivan, my next-door neighbor.
Sexiest physical trait: My tiny penis. It’s soo cute!
Favorite part about Harvard: Studying abroad.
Describe yourself in three words: Come see RAPUNZEL
In 15 minutes you are: Telling my TF to hurry up and put her clothes back on so we’re not late to section.
In 15 years you are: 36? I don’t really understand this question.
