Name: Michael Lord Manco-Johnson
Year: 2008
House: Lowell
Concentration: Social Anthropology
Hometown: Blowjob City, Montana. Yeehaw!
Ideal Date: Inexpensive.
Best way for a girl to get your attention: Look really wasted.
Where to find you on a Saturday night: Listen to a police scanner. About 6’ tall, Caucasian male, known to be drunk and suspected of first degree handsomeness.
First thing you notice about a girl: 1. Full set of teeth? Check. 2. Depth of character.
Your best pick-up line: You live in Weld? Have you heard of the Cleveland Steamer?
Best lie you’ve ever told: Alexandra Palma, the results came back and you’re definitely not the mother of my child.
Something you’ve always wanted to tell someone: Alexandra Palma, the results came back and you’re the mother of my child.
Favorite childhood toy: Hot Wheels.
Sexiest physical trait: The Juggernut.
Favorite part about Harvard: Teeming hordes of hot chicks.
Describe yourself in three words: Elvis meets Shaft.
In 15 minutes you are: Crasturbating.
In 15 years you are: Crasturbating, but they won’t be tears of joy.
