On Thursday, a couple of Poonsters were treated to special guest musicians Ratatat, who popped by the castle after a stint at Tufts—because hanging out with bitter Ivy rejects was clearly not an option. Saturday, the Castle lit up with Irish good cheer and a Boston College football player, only to be shut down at four in the morning by campus police threatening “the castle is surrounded.” Now there’s something you don’t hear everyday...Friday saw the advent of every Harvard student’s dream—a “ganzcampus,” or, for those of you not versed in German, an ALL CAMPUS BANGER! Unfortunately, only Advocats, freshmen, and about four Crimson stragglers showed up to rage. Can’t say we’re surprised...Everyone’s favorite sex blogger made the mistake of posting on her recent sex slave’s wall, only to have her newfound beau turn around and deny all smooching charges on his own and his friends’ walls. She sure picked a mature one...At the Pudding after party Friday night, a drunk make-out turned into a standing fuck, replete with upturned tables and flying Solo cups of Gordon’s and orange juice...A Currier resident had a bit of trouble bringing her thesis to a Cabot tutor on Saturday. It seems one couple decided they were too good for Harvard-supplied beds and moved their fondling to the floor in front of the elevator. Stressed senior took the stairs...Some final club rejects have started their own society (because who wants to be a part of your stupid club anyway?) called the Pearl. The society has already started punching freshmen girls and forcing their members to pay dues. You can tell a girl is a member by the pearl necklace she “secretly” sports around her neck—just don’t confuse her with an actual Bee girl. Awk.
