1) The professor opens class on Thursday morning with “I’ve got you now, you pitiful bastards, I’ve got you now!”
2) Conversations with your friends reveal that taking a class called “Sex” doesn’t mean you’ll get any.
3)You learn that starting next week, the professor will take lecture attendance using PRS clickers and ensure lecture participation using cattle prods..
4) Upon closer inspection of the syllabus, you realize that you do not recognize the characters in which the syllabus is written.
5) On Friday morning, your professor announces his intention to wage a private war against grade inflation.
6) On Monday morning, your professor announces his intention to wage a private war against your GPA.
7) As you walk into section, you hear “Oh my God, it’s like a Phi Beta Kappa reunion in here!”
8) Your TF reveals that 60% of your final grade depends on your ability to actually feed the world, and only 40% is based on your ability to feed yourself.
9) Contrary to your expectations, your class on dinosaurs does not include a unit on how to successfully escape from an island filled with dinosaurs.
10) Re-reading the CUE guide, you realize that your professor’s 4.9 rating was based on just two evaluations—those of Clifton G. Dawson Jr. ’07 and Jay R. Lundy, Jr. ’09, neither of whom ever took the class.
11) You realize your two film classes have screenings at the same time. One of the professors lets you watch the videos at home, but it’s just not the same as seeing them in theaters, you know?
12) Your TF speaks with an impenetrable Peruvian accent, which you can understand, and uses West Coast slang, which you cannot.
13) Based on a few suspicious comments and the fact that he wrestled a bear in the middle of lecture, you begin to suspect that your Professor Manny A. “A-Plus” Harvfield is Harvey C. “C-Minus” Mansfield ’53 in disguise.
14) Two weeks into Drew Gilpin Faust’s history seminar, Dean Faust is made the 28th President of Harvard and expels you just to prove she can.
15) What you thought was a foreign language class is, in fact, Math 55.
