Zuckerberg and Co. have made constantly checking Facebook more vital than ever with the new “Status” feature. Let Fifteen Minutes clue you in on 15 “status” entries that will make you cool and popular with the obsessive compulsive set.
John Harvard is...
1) ...with your mom.
2) ...right behind you.
3) ...wishing I could quit you!
4) ...eating an entire wheel of cheese.
5) ...working on Domna’s presidential campaign.
6) ...climbing the dragon phallus.
7) ...trapped between the moving bookshelves in Widener.
8) ...having sex in the moving bookshelves in Widener.
9) ...playing that Chinese instrument more proficiently than the guy outside the Coop.
10) ...helping Larry clean out his office.
11) ...under your bed.
12) ...discouraged by the hurtful comments of my defensive line coach.
13) ...naked in Lamont.
14) ...taking pictures of tourists taking pictures of me.
15) ...running an off-season Primal Scream.
–Kate O’Donnell
