1. Hang Out With 12-Year-Olds
Ditch your indie instincts in favor of acne, angst, and horrible music by ordering your ticket to Jingle Ball on Thursday, Dec. 14 at 7 p.m. Then tell us how it was, because we were really jealous of that girl in middle school who got tickets each year because her dad like owned the Backstreet Boys. Come to think of it, she was always a pretty huge bitch.
Thursday, Dec. 14 at 7 p.m. Tsongas Arena. Tickets range in price at www.kiss108.com.
2. Tchaikovsky’s Tcharm
Nothing says classic holiday season romance like a trip to Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker, playing until Dec. 30 at Boston’s recently renovated Opera House. After sipping eggnog on the Green Line to Northeastern, sit back and relax as Mother Ginger, Marzipan, and the Sugar Plum Fairies hypnotize you into a psychedelic stupor of lust. Beware, though, as the ballet has a tendency to bring out the worst in the closeted pretentious: should your date say anything about the Boston Ballet’s failure to live up to his/her Lincoln Center expectations, run away as quickly as possible.
Runs through Dec. 30 at varying times.
Opera House, 539 Washington St., Boston. Tickets from $95 at www.bostonoperahouse.com.
3. Crafty Cats
Embrace two old lady tendencies in one go: your love of homemade popsicle-stick Christmas ornaments and cats. Animal Umbrella is sponsoring a Cat Adoption and Crafts Sale for those in need of festive holiday decorations and a warm body to hold. No one should be alone during the holiday season and (apparently) cats shouldn’t either. It’s one-stop shopping like you’ve never imagined.
Saturday, Dec. 9. The Calvary Church, 300 Mass. Ave. Arlington, Mass. Free.
4. Christmaween–The new Chrismukkah
If Christmas and Halloween somehow mated and managed to give birth to a holiday, this would be the terrifying result. In a role inspired by both Jolly Old Saint Nick and Hannibal Lecter, this Santa Claus decides that his choice reindeer serve better as choice cuts of meat. Can he be stopped? Or rather, could it possibly be worth 28 bucks to see him be stopped?
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday evenings, 8:00 p.m. through Dec. 23rd. The Gold Dust Orphans, 387 Ashmont St., Dorchester. Tickets $28 at http://www.theatermania.com.
5. Kuumba. Ya?
For the 36th year in a row (has it been that long?), Harvard’s Kuumba Singers will present its annual holiday concert, “We Sing Praises.” The event is free, but if past years are any indication, they’ll sell out fast.
Friday, Dec. 8 and Saturday, Dec. 9 at 7 p.m. Memorial Church. Free tickets available at the Harvard Box Office.
