1) The stag film didn’t demonstrate the full range of my personality.
2) This is a narcotics anonymous meeting, right?
3) Are there any cute chicks where you work?
4) What’s the policy on bringing crack pipes to work?
5) Can anyone at your firm actually define the word “consultant?”
6) Just to let you know, I’m gonna have to get out early on Tuesday nights. There’s this 2 for 1 bowling night at Bowlmore that I never miss.
7) What’s your policy on pedophilia?
8) Will I be able to work for you and have children? You know, in a position higher
than secretary?
9) I refuse to wear anything except neon spandex. Will that be a problem?
10) If you don’t hire me, my friend Felix will kill your mother.
11) Judging by your suit, you’re a man who recognizes a bargain. Well, you are
never going to find a better price on a vacuum cleaner than the one I have with
me today.
12) Marx is my favorite philosopher. It’s inevitable that wealth will be redistributed
someday and we have do everything we can to make sure that day comes as quickly
as possible.
13) I am the antichrist. Just thought it’d be fair to warn you.
14) I model all my actions on lessons learned from Lon Chaney, Jr. movies.
15) She was dead when I got here. I swear.
