In October, the small Kentucky town of West Point hosted 12,000 visitors at the annual Knob Creek Gun Range Machine Gun Shoot. The competition, which is the nation’s largest, includes both a machine gun shoot-off and a separate competition for flame-throwers.
Length of the waiting list of “The Line,” an event where 60 people simultaneously get to fire their machine guns into a field littered with cars and boats, and during which shooters routinely expend $10,000 in ammunition: 5,256,000 Minutes
Age of this year’s champion, high schooler Samantha Sawyer: 8,409,600 Minutes
The Ugandan prison service has recently released a report that cites human urine as the key instrument used by 15 inmates to secure their escape from a prison outside of Kampala last April.
Length of time over which the inmates urinated repeatedly on the window bars in their cells in order to weaken them to the point they could be pried open: 259,200 Minutes
Length of time the prisoners have remained on the loose: 345,600 Minutes
In September, the Family Planning Association, a charity supported by the British government, distributed a cartoon booklet teaching the joys of masturbation to children too young to read written instructions.
Target age group of the charity’s pro-masturbation campaign: 4,730,400 Minutes
Length of time on average until these students will be able to masturbate till climax: 6,832,800 Minutes
Also in September, Connexions, yet another community service organization funded by the British government, distributed an instructional on proper marijuana smoking technique printed on the exterior of packages of rolling papers.
Length of time necessary to role a quality spliff: 1.5 Minutes
Length of time necessary to hit a bong: <.1 Minutes
This semester, the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor is again offering its popular sociology course, “How to Be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation.”
Total length of the course: 1,800 Minutes
Average length of an initiation: 12 Minutes
