Gossip Guy: savory lies, hickory-smoked rumors, and innuendo just like mom used to make...
...Friends were skeptical when Ricard D. Nitrell ’03-’04 guaranteed that he’d hook up with BC hottie Gretchen Murphy after she replied favorably to an e-mail he wrote that read, “Come to Harvard, yo. I’ll show you a good time.” Nitrell explains: “Look, implicit in ‘I’ll show you a good time’ is ‘I’ll show you a good time... on my nuts.’” And so he did...
...Fairweather Muslim Harold B. Mackey ’05, who once prayed to Mecca, ate a hot dog and drank a beer on the first day of Ramadan, decided to go vegetarian this semester. “I just want to cleanse my body and mind,” Mackey said. After the first day of class, he smoked an entire eighth of an ounce of marijuana, ate three plates of boneless spareribs from the Kong and passed out in a pool of pork juices. “Allah doesn’t really see everything, right?” he said...
...The reign of Felix P. Johnson ’03 as the self-proclaimed “king of blackjack” was short-lived. Johnson was up $1,100 at a table in the Montreal Casino over intersession when he exclaimed, “I’ve got this game figured out. I just can’t lose money at this table.” His hubris seems to have brought the wrath of the gambling gods upon him; after three more hands, Johnson ended up down $2,800. Having lost all his cash and maxed out his bank account, Johnson had no funds for cabfare and was forced to navigate Montreal’s confusing bus system to get back to his hotel. It took him three days...
...Pretentious vodka-sipper Samir K. “40” Shankar ’03 was nearly humiliated Friday night when blockmate Gary A. Mohammed ’03 covertly filled his Grey Goose bottle with Gilbert’s vodka, which is distilled in Somerville and retails for $7 a liter. The scheme went awry when Mohammed drank the entire bottle in an effort to impress Tabitha G. Filney ’02. Though Filney is usually eager to welcome near-strangers who show up at her Mather tower door bearing signs of chronic alcohol abuse, she turned Mohammed away. “Is that Gilbert’s?” she asked. “I’m a Liquor World girl myself, ” naming her preferred Somerville-distilled vodka brand. In an act of misdirected spite, Mohammed proceeded to urinate on the Mather salad bar...
...Michael P. LeFleur ’04 has begun testosterone-fueled boasting about what was actually a bizarre and dangerous unprotected sexual encounter with a possibly syphilitic 17-year-old...
..Non-gossip of the week: Raquel E. Arid ’04 wasn’t sure whether she should take Astronomy 1 pass-fail. “It’s an easy fourth class, so I probably won’t do much work, so maybe I should just take it pass-fail. But then again, maybe it’s an easy A. I can’t decide!” she said Tuesday...Somehow study card day always sneaks up on Diana K. Limas ’03. “Wait, they’re due Wednesday? Holy shit.” She then asked Gossip Guy if he thought that she needed to get her tutor to sign that shit...The dude sitting next to Jose X. Rodriguez ’05 kept dropping his pencil during Rome of Augustus. “I thought twice would be it, but he kept dropping that thing. The last time, he bumped his head on the seat in front of him, and I had to hold my jacket between us so he wouldn’t see me laughing”...
