Which two professors in the physics department would make the best couple? Who is the worst teacher? If tossed from academia, which faculty member would most likely be fired in the “real” world? Last week physics students put aside problem sets, formulae and mathematica to ponder these and 12 other probing questions about Harvard’s physics department faculty on graduate student Jason R. Gallicchio’s website.

The results of the survey will remain a secret until tomorrow when they are displayed as part of the annual Physics Department Puppet Show, in which second-year grad students traditionally skewer the faculty. First-year grad students and undergrads in the department flock to the show to see professors subtly (and not so subtly) mocked for ineptness in the classroom, for overworking their poor second-years in their laboratories and for doing useless research.

The stars of the show are the professor puppets. Each professor is represented by his or her own puppet, which is made with a large, elaborate Styrofoam head meant to look as much as possible like the faculty member. In contrast, the puppet students are comprised of socks on tubes. “The students look generic and interchangeable, as the professors see them,” Gallicchio explains.

Though the mockery flies fast and furious, most professors know it is all in good fun. “We try not to make anyone cry,” Gallicchio says.