Why Bon Jovi Rocks
Fernanda W. Winthrop ’04
It is fine to like Jon Bon Jovi for his music, but to love Bon Jovi entails something different. I pride myself on the ability to look past his musical talent and right at his ass, which is as goddamn tight as it was 20 years ago, when he released “Runaway.” I love Jon because of the way he looked in painters’ pants in Moonlight and Valentino and in his khaki lieutenant uniform in U-571. I especially love him because he was in the thirteenth episode of the second season of “Sex and the City.” And in that, he looked better than good. The moral of the story? Looks are everything.
Why Bon Jovi Sucks
Carla M. Mastraccio ’03
I hate Bon Jovi. Don’t get me wrong—I’m a fan of retro kitsch. I’ve been to the Leverett ’80s dance. Twice. I’ve had those brunch discussions about “Saved by the Bell” and “Small Wonder.” But his name alone is reason to despise him. Jon Bon Jovi, a man whose career highlights in recent years consist of performing “Living on a Prayer” in front of middle-aged tourists on “The Today Show.” And there is nothing ironic about this man’s mullet. Not a single thing. Need I go on? I have a thesis to write, and he’s depressing the hell out of me.
