A Wisconsin man was convicted Friday of sexually assaulting three calves in July. He must have no contact with the farmers who owned the calves and he’ll be stuck in jail for nine months, or
388,800 minutes.
In other Wisconsin wackiness, a Waukesha fam bought a new house Thursday only to see it engulfed in flames in less than
165 minutes.
A high school football team, psyched about a victory, rushed across the field Friday night, knocking down the opponents’ cheerleaders on the way. The girls have been recovering for
7,920 minutes.
After stumbling out of a Dave & Busters in Ohio Sunday night, a woman tried to convince a cop she was sober enough to drive her car by having sex with him. He turned down her offer and she was arrested when she tried driving again in just
15 minutes.
Throwing a cream cake at Sweden’s King Carl Gustaf is equivalent to treason, according to the Swedish legal system. Four teens were fined for the income they would make in 100 days, or
144,000 minutes.
Playboy is branching out into the doll business with anatomically correct replicas of playmates. Victoria Silvstedt is the first model. She’ll be on the shelves from now until March, for a total of
174,240 minutes.
Dwarf tossing should be legal once more, Dave the Dwarf believes. He’s suing to overturn Florida’s ban, which has been in place since 1989, or
6,307,200 minutes.
Ja Rule, J. Lo and Kid Rock are joining forces to entertain U.S. troops for an MTV/USO special that will air New Year’s Day for
90 minutes.
John Walker, a 20-year-old from Marin County, somehow ended up fighting for the Taliban. When his parents saw him on TV, it was the first time they had laid eyes on him in six months, or
259,200 minutes.
When hunky George Clooney and Brad Pitt were filming Ocean’s Eleven together, Pitt got really nervous that Clooney, the notorious prankster, was going to get him. Every night he searched his hotel room for bugs and cameras for
45 minutes.
A new survey of Italian women reports that four in 10 are unhappy in their marriages, and, in a 15 day period, women average sexual activity for just
60 minutes.
Being stuck behind bars didn’t keep a Taipei politician from getting elected to a seat in Taiwan’s parliament Saturday. Accused of attempted murder and corruption, he is serving a term of 20 years, or
10,512,000 minutes.
A British adventurer who has traveled the Amazon and the Blue Nile told the Daily Telegraph last Thursday that the worst trip he’s ever taken was a train ride to Liverpool. The trek took
21 hours and 30 minutes.
What Is To Be Done? has not come off the presses since 1991, or
5,256,000 minutes
The seniors in the class of 2002 saw their last FM come off the presses on Wednesday morning. They’ve been in withdrawal for
1,440 minutes
