May, 21 1951:

Born in New York.

1973: Graduates from

Harvard College.

1975: Lorne Michaels hires him to write for his new show, "Saturday Night Live."

1980: Leaves SNL briefly.

1986: Writes first movie, "One More Saturday Night." It bombs.

1988: Comes crawling back to SNL.

1992: Comes out with first book, I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone it, People Like Me!

1994: Writes, executive-produces and acts in another failed flick, "When a Man Loves a Woman."

1995: His next film effort, "Stuart Saves His Family," comes out. Once again, his project bombs.

1996: Covers "Indecision '96" for Comedy Central. Sleeps with Arianna Huffington.

March 3, 1999: FM interviews him and discovers he is a bitter, bitter man:

FM: What question haven't I asked you that I should?

Al Franken: Uh. Never ask that question. That's the last time you ask that question, okay? I'm not trying to scold you but I'm telling you to never ask that question again.

FM: Well, my editors told me to ask that question.

Al Franken: They did? Tell your editors never to assign someone to ask that question again. I don't know. Uh. "Have you ever heard of our paper?" You could have asked me that so I could have said, "No."