Can you describe your personal bowling style?

There's actually a great deal of body English if you watch. I try not to show off about it.

Do you ever bowl candlepin?

I have done it, only because it's here in New England, but it seems to me . . . crazy. It's a New England affectation, really.

Have you ever seen it anywhere else?

I come from the Midwest, and in the Midwest you play regular ball. With candlepin, it feels like you're playing a kids game. And then they don't even fall down.

What about disco bowling?

Now, you know, I've never done that. Why didn't you invite me to do that?

Are you free next weekend?

Exactly, why don't we do some comparative research?

With black lights and mist--that would be great.

Sign me up.

Just one last thing: Bumper bowling--is this a crutch?

Well, you know, since I want to basically get people into bowling alleys, I think even bumpers are fine.