And I especially liked the way the guy who played Paul sorta shook his hips around just like Paul used to do, y'know, just before the White Album, when he died and all...They just don't make 'em like they used to, though.
In case you didn't notice that big, ugly announcement that took the place of a feature article on the front page, this is the last time we'll be riding these happy trails together--until the fall, at least. As the last snows of Spring cascade down from on high all over my typewriter, my horse, and my moped (you can't forget the moped--have you bought yours yet?), I can't resist the urge to wax a little nostalgic, to be a little self-serving for once. I remember the first break I got here this fall. I was just another junior--a regular sort, interested mostly in tutorial papers and chasing mopeds. And then one day, a little magazine that I'm sure you're familiar with hit the newsstands for the first time. The magazine was Padan Aram, and the rest is history. Alright, so being travel editor for a poetry magazine doesn't sound like the most exciting thing in the world, but you'd be surprised who I got to meet.
One was ZZ Top. One was Laurie Nyro. And the rest are History. Then the breaks started coming. First a guest "Silly Baroque Outtakes" Orgy on WHRB; then, a couple of guest Wit's Ends for the Independent. The road to the Crimson is indeed circuitous. Veer your moped left off Memorial Drive at the right place, though, and you're almost there.
I dried myself off and walked into the Crimson, a resume fatter than Totie Fields (an old friend) under my arm. And if it weren't for a guy named Tony, a man called Horse, and a thing called History, I wouldn't be here today.
Funny thing about mopeds, they can't get Blown off in the Shop. Funny story there--y'know why I always put that in the column? Think it's an in-joke? Well, you're right on the mark.
Now I want to tell you one last thing. Remember the joke about the four freshmen from Thayer getting run over by a moped? Remember that funny "phoney fable" about the four athletes from Eliot House drowning in a big vat of Polynesian Meatless Balls? Ever hear of Milton Berle? Yep, I stole them all from Pete and Tommy over at the Indy. Now I'm giving credit where credit is due. You know what they say over at the Travel Desk at Padan Aram--Harvard may be Childhood's End, but Wit's End is truly Wit's End. That's what they say over at the Travel Desk at Padan Aram, Ed.
Yo! But I stray. Chick Corea and Return to Forever featuring Stanley Clarke will be at the Orpheum on May 15 at 7 pm. Remember the time I made all the groups have German names? Gosh, does that kind of thing go on your transcript? Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes will be at the Berklee Performance center on May 22 at 7 pm. And then there was the time me and the guys drove our mopeds through the reserve desk at Lamont...Remember the time we mixed the ham sandwiches on white bread in with the salami at the Hillel Deli supper? Lynyrd Skynyrd will be at the boring old Cape Cod Colisseum on June 18 at 8 pm? Oh, so you're going to be waitressing on the Cape this summer while secretly shacking up with that guy with the moped, and your parents think you're staying at your roommate's summer home, huh? Have fun at the concert, kid. Joan Baez will be at the Orpheum on May 21 at 8 pm, smack at the end of reading period, so don't try to pull any fast ones. Jesse Winchester and Jonathan Edwards will be there the next night at 7:30, and that exam will already be breathing down your neck so hard you'll wish you had gone to Williams. Why, we may all rightfully ask, is the May Day Festival, featuring Arlo Guthrie, Jerry Jeff Walker, Taj Mahal, Tom Rush, Albert B. Lord, Vassar Clements, Commander Cody, The James Cotton Band, Clean Living, and Zonkaraz being held on May 14? Where? Read the Phoenix, or the ever-popular Harry's Column, or the Onerous Manual for your moped. Todd Rundgren has been rescheduled for May 17 at 8 p.m. at the Orpheum. For all of you with "second show added" fetishes, there's Little Feat, with on-the-skids special guest Commander Cody, at 7 and 10 p.m. at the Orpheum on May 13. You can go to see Dan Fogelberg at the Music Hall on June 9 at 8 pm, since all your exams will be over--messed up Chem 20, didn't you? (read this again the next day, and see if I wasn't prescient). The Crusaders will be at the Berklee Performance Center on May 20 at 8 pm. "The Crusaders apologize for having to cancel their last concert, but promise to make this a performance Boston will long remember!" That's what the ad in the Phoenix said--ha, ha. Procol Harum with Flora Purim and Airto will be at the Harvard Square Theater on May 17 at 7 and 10:30. A joke for our Jewish readers: "Every time she says 'Haman"..." (That joke was sent in by a lonely inmate of a nameless prison in Southeastern Massachusetts.)
Tony, who just drove in on a stolen moped, informs me that "space is tight" in this week's magazine, and Yo! But I stray.
I'll go away now, and leave you alone for a while. Good luck on your prestigious internship, or good luck just waxing your moped, if that's all you're going to do with yourself all summer. Remember--the deadline for "special requests" on the LSATs is coming up. So if you want to take your LSATs in a chair with sacro support, or if you want to take them on a moped, you'd better file your form soon. That's the first pink form on your left as you walk into OCS-OCL. And you should also remember to register with the LSDAS at this time, so that your transcript can be codified and mailed to people who will terrorize you and threaten to turn your electricity off and repossess all your furniture, your horse, and your moped.
Dare to struggle, dare to grin!
And a resounding Later,
